He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
