69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I want a musical about memes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
