i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize
