We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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