K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
