I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
