She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
