You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
