how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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