I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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