Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
