it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
