is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
