How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
