he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
