you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
