I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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