Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Two words: blizzard sex
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
