Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
