Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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