You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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