Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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