I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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