Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
