uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
