the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
