So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
