Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
