I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
that is very illegal...i love you.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
