can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
