if only i could text you this smell
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
