Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
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