in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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