Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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