You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
