I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I faked an abortion last night.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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