Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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