I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
