My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
