I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
