Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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