I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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