turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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