where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
