first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
