yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
