youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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