I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
