No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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