Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
