and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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