Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
