im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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