i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
