it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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